Stay awake..

3am to 11am work schedule is kicking my ass! I so want to take a nap but I know if I do then I won't be able to fall asleep tonight. I have to keep busy so I do not fall asleep..hmmm. What to do, what to do. Oh I know, I will do a load of laundry and then go outside and weed out my Mom's garden! Sounds good to me.

Guest

I just got told that I am a guest in my own home. What a slap in the face.

Hmmm..I wonder.

Do guests clean and cook dinner for everyone in the household? From my knowledge I'm going to have to say no. Well, I guess I will just cook for myself and they'll have to do it on their own.

Are family members allowed to eat guest's food without permission? I think not. From now on I will be keeping anything I buy in my room like every college student that lives in a dorm.

I mean why not throw another 5lb weight on my shoulders.

Woof?

Ok. One weekend alone with all the animals was enough for me. I am going to go ahead and hit the dislike button on the subject of dogs. They're not only annoying as hell but too much work. They smell, bark and go to the bathroom anywhere they simply please.

A couple days ago I organized my room to the point of perfection and there were no smelly odors. Until yesterday when one of the dogs decided to piss on the floor in front of my bed. I was outraged! You can scream at them all you want and tell them they are bad but really they do not listen because they're going to do it again and again. And let me remind you, these dogs are not puppies!

Again, wake up this morning to the sounds of dogs barking their heads off and the lawnmower. Two wonderful sounds to start my day off. I immediately get out of bed, walk up the stairs and I give these dogs the most dirtiest look ever. I walk to the back door to let one of the dogs outside. There is shit on the floor in my family's new three season room with brand new carpet. I was so disgusted, I left it right there and walked away. I will let the head of the household attend to it. He can do all the screaming and yelling.

I am not saying these dogs were not trained because they were. I have no clue what happened. Maybe, they were not trained well?

As of right now, I am downstairs where there is peace and quiet. And just to mention my baby is all curled up next to me. Now, there is a animal that is well trained. He misses his food mama who taught him how to sit and pretty much was his playmate. For now we both wait for the arrival of food mama....

In the dark, alone.

I decided to start up the blog again, figured it will help me express my feelings.

I lay here in my parent's basement at the age of 22, an age that many are living on their own. Well, I was until this big bomb happened in my life. I went from being extremely happy to depressed and angry at the world.

I've been through so much these past two weeks that no one can fathom. My body felt as if it was failing me as I was failing others. I pushed myself into thinking that everything would be fine if I was on the go 24/7 this way I did not think about the real stuff.

Right now, I am at the point where my eyes hurt. No, not from crying but the want/need to cry. I sat in front of my best friend the other day as he told me about his son that just had died 3 days ago. What did I say or do? Nothing. Why? Why did I not try to console him or cry for him? What the fuck is wrong with me?

I need to get myself back on track again. I want to be happy again. Is that too much to ask for?

Back to laying in bed, in the dark, alone.

Way to much...

ok...way too much stuff to do today.

1. Work 8-12 on my day off!
2. Laundry
3. Taking air conditioner out of window
4. Oil change
5. There is something else..I know there is..
6. The Big E

Then to work tomorrow 8 to 3. Friday 3am to 9am. Luckily, I have the weekend off.

I registered for classes yesterday morning. 14 credits! I hope I can do that!

Anyway, It's so nice out today. We got a screen door put on the back door of the apartment, so I'm sitting in the banana chair enjoying the weather. It's actually making me a little sleepy.

PA

Today is my resting day. I have been out and about for like it seems forever. Tuesday, Sugar Mama and I drove 7 hours to go visit my sister at college. It was an adventure and I enjoyed seeing my sister. We picked grapes and and came home with a 10lb. bag. Sugar Mama forgot her cell phone in the hotel room and someone took it. I hope they enjoy all the pictures...lol

We stopped for gas before we got on the road to return home. The man pumping gas for everyone was very ignorant. He said some discriminatory things towards us. At that point, I was hurt and just wanted to get home where we are welcomed in the world.

Anyway, I keep having these weird dreams. I do not know what to think of them. They are creeping me out though.

Well, I have nothing else on my mind.. Go figure?

News

Camp came and went. I had a lot of fun. Made some good memories...#1 pointer before going camping. Make sure you know what the neighbors dog looks like before you get spooked by it.

Everyone had went to bed except a couple of us just sitting around the camp fire. We heard a noise looked behind us, flashed are lights and OMG A WOLF! We all looked at each other like 'omg what do we do?' I said, "I think its time to go inside guys." We all ran for the front door, so around the house we went barged through the door, out of breathe trying to tell others what we had seen.

My Dad, the wise ass he is says, "Oh, you guys saw a wolf did ya? I think you saw the neighbors dog!" He and others continued to laugh at us. I guess the neighbors dogs was huge and looked like a wolf. Needless to say, I was scared the rest of the night.


Anyways, next summer is going to be a big one.

June- 21st Birthday for Bear
July- Mom and Dad's 25th Wedding Anniversary
August- Sugar Mama and I will be getting married

That's right! We are Engaged!

I want to start planning right away but I will have to set it aside due to school starting for Sugar Mama yesterday and soon for me as well.

Well, all for now.