Way to much...

ok...way too much stuff to do today.

1. Work 8-12 on my day off!
2. Laundry
3. Taking air conditioner out of window
4. Oil change
5. There is something else..I know there is..
6. The Big E

Then to work tomorrow 8 to 3. Friday 3am to 9am. Luckily, I have the weekend off.

I registered for classes yesterday morning. 14 credits! I hope I can do that!

Anyway, It's so nice out today. We got a screen door put on the back door of the apartment, so I'm sitting in the banana chair enjoying the weather. It's actually making me a little sleepy.

PA

Today is my resting day. I have been out and about for like it seems forever. Tuesday, Sugar Mama and I drove 7 hours to go visit my sister at college. It was an adventure and I enjoyed seeing my sister. We picked grapes and and came home with a 10lb. bag. Sugar Mama forgot her cell phone in the hotel room and someone took it. I hope they enjoy all the pictures...lol

We stopped for gas before we got on the road to return home. The man pumping gas for everyone was very ignorant. He said some discriminatory things towards us. At that point, I was hurt and just wanted to get home where we are welcomed in the world.

Anyway, I keep having these weird dreams. I do not know what to think of them. They are creeping me out though.

Well, I have nothing else on my mind.. Go figure?

News

Camp came and went. I had a lot of fun. Made some good memories...#1 pointer before going camping. Make sure you know what the neighbors dog looks like before you get spooked by it.

Everyone had went to bed except a couple of us just sitting around the camp fire. We heard a noise looked behind us, flashed are lights and OMG A WOLF! We all looked at each other like 'omg what do we do?' I said, "I think its time to go inside guys." We all ran for the front door, so around the house we went barged through the door, out of breathe trying to tell others what we had seen.

My Dad, the wise ass he is says, "Oh, you guys saw a wolf did ya? I think you saw the neighbors dog!" He and others continued to laugh at us. I guess the neighbors dogs was huge and looked like a wolf. Needless to say, I was scared the rest of the night.


Anyways, next summer is going to be a big one.

June- 21st Birthday for Bear
July- Mom and Dad's 25th Wedding Anniversary
August- Sugar Mama and I will be getting married

That's right! We are Engaged!

I want to start planning right away but I will have to set it aside due to school starting for Sugar Mama yesterday and soon for me as well.

Well, all for now.

Good News!

I just woke up. French toast is on the stove because my girlfriend is so awesome.

Yesterday was my day off. Sugar Mama and I had fun shopping for the kids at camp and her nephew. We went to Babies R Us and looked at cribs and strollers...there are so many styles. It will make it fun shopping for when that time comes in our lives.

I do have some wonderful information but I cannot spill the beans just yet. Maybe this coming Tuesday I will share. As for friends and family they will find out this weekend at camp. My mom is planning on making an announcement. Funny, right?

Well, my french toast is almost ready. Be back Tuesday from the Adirondacks!

BLAH

So..I am in one of my moods.. I do not know why I get like this. I feel like shit. Like, I know I am down on myself a lot. The kind of mood where you just want to go to bed so you can stop thinking of all the shit you've got running in your head.

I am starting to feel alone at work. I mean, I do talk to my co workers but I always feel as if they are talking about me behind my back. Inventory came and went, now we just have to sort through the boxes. Today, we found product from the year 2000. Crazy right?

My mom and sister just skyped me. My little sister always makes me laugh..I think that was my first smile of the day. Thanks Boo. =)

Tired

I am sooo tired right now...my eyes are open but I do not feel awake..I am in a daze. I've been working a lot lately. Inventory at work. I do not want to do it ever again.. The company that A.C. Moore hired to count sucked. The people were rude and apparently they need to go back to school because they do not know how to count.

This coming weekend is labor day weekend and I will be in the Adirondacks camping it up with some friends. I cannot wait!

I think I am too tired to think...

Mormonism

I recently sat down to enjoy my doughnut and read an article in "The Rainbow Times". The article was very interesting. So, I thought to myself. I wonder if this article is online? As I searched I came across another highlight article that caught my eye. The title, "Mormon image suffers after gay marriage fight".

Now as for me, I am not religious at all. Even growing up I was seldom brought to church and the few times when I was it was the most boring thing I have set through. Hell, I did not even know what "Mormon" meant until I met Sugar Mama.

See, Sugar Mama was raised as a Mormon. When you're a Mormon everything is based upon the church and Sugar Mama has a binder full of awards that she has won from various church events. When she attended BYU she realized that she had that attraction to the same sex.

Now, being a gay woman I have experienced "coming out" to my parents and others. Luckily, my parents and my extended family were welcoming of my new found sexuality. Granted yes, it was very hard for everyone to understand where I was coming from at first but today my entire family has accepted me.

A quote from my mom, "it's always about religion. You cant base that on who you fall in love with. Life is too short. I believe god loves everyone no matter who or what they are."

I am not sure how exactly Sugar Mama told her parents. What I do know is this: Sugar Mama is originally from Idaho. She moved across the country to find people that accepted her unlike her parents and her church. To this day Sugar Mama has no contact with her family. She seldom speaks with her sister but it's always a short conversation. Mormonism is a religion that forces members to choose faith over family. It hurts me to know such information. Would you choose your faith over your own daughter? I know for sure I wouldn't. Sugar Mama's family is at a loss. Sugar Mama is one of the nicest people I have ever met. She has a big heart and she is so strong. She is part of my family now. Just me and her and our kitten.

My point here is that the Mormon church in my mind is brainwashing people. Mormonism teaches that homosexual sex is considered a sin, but gays are welcome in church and can maintain church callings and membership if they remain celibate. So, let me give a scenario. Let's say, a gay man and his lover are Mormons. They are members of the church and go to church on regular basis. What if they were to walk into church holding hands? Would they be banned from the church for doing so? I mean, if they're celibate. You can love someone and still be celibate. See it does not make sense!

Last year at the urging of church leaders, Mormons donated tens of millions to the Yes on 8 campaign and were among the most vigorous volunteers. The institutional church gave nearly $190,000 to the campaign. Pretty much they wasted money on something that one day is going to be voted down. They could have gave the money to area hospitals to help the sick.

I guess what I'm trying to say is gays and lesbians are people too. We are just the same as an average person. You cannot help who you fall in love with whether is be a man or a woman. One day everyone will be equal. No one will care if your a different color or gay.

Here is the article. Take a look. http://www.bostonherald.com/news/national/west/view.bg?articleid=1191228&srvc=rss

Long Day

What a long day. I worked 8.5 hours today although I am starting to feel like a manager. I like working, it's better than sitting home most of the day. I did that yesterday and oh my god was I bored. I took my kitten for a ride in the car to see Sugar Mama at work. Is that weird?

I watch a good movie last night it was about this gay guy in all boys prep school. He got picked on for his sexuality. He joined the school play and some how made this love potion that turned almost the whole town gay. I definitely would watch it again!

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi664208153/

Alright, I'm going to settle down for the night!

Wake up!

Today came and went. I swear it feels as if the days just keep getting shorter or something. I'm so tired and I barely did shit today. My kitten is fast asleep as we speak. Not to mention he scratched up my leg pretty good today. Go figure, he doesn't even have front claws.

Anyways, tomorrow I have to do something active. I need to loose some extra baggage that I seemed to accommodate. I was able to wear jeans to work Friday and when I went to go put a pair on they wouldn't buckle! Tried another and they wouldn't buckle. NOT GOOD!

Well, I have to wake up Sugar Mama for work.

NY!

NY! Sugar Mama and I went home Tuesday night. We cooked dinner for my family and afterwards we had a bonfire with some friends. I had a blast. Perfect weather for sleeping in a tent which we both passed out around 2:30am. It was like "pillow, head and out like a light." Wednesday was a busy day. We spent most of the day shopping with my mom and going to doctor appointments. I went to get my back cracked. OUCH!

Doctor: Now, I am going to put this big vibrator on your back. You might like it. It's just to loosen you up.

Me: Chuckles.

But, I was really laughing so hard inside. Plus, the vibrations weren't even that strong. HAHA

Something else that was hilarious. My Mom and my two sisters were thinking of coming to MA to go to Six Flags for the day. We were all discussing the plans when Sugar Mama says, "is there something else to do other than Six Flags? I know you(which is me) do not like to go on rides and I am not going on rides without you." I told her she could go on rides with my sister and her girlfriend. Meanwhile, my Mom is listening to this whole conversation. My mom speaks up and says, "wait, I do not have lesbian to bring!" Oh my god, everyone bursts out laughing!

The past two days were just so much fun and I cannot wait for my family to come and visit next week!

My choice

Is it bad to laugh when someone searches "Sugar Mama" on google they land upon my blog?

The car that I wanted was already sold by the time we got to the dealership today. Oh well. The worst thing was that my Dad was going to help me with a down payment. Guess I will keep searching. Too sooth me over I went and bought a new pair of sneakers...

Another thing, I am really getting tired of people telling me what I should do. Why? Can I not make decisions for myself. No one knows what goes on in my life. No one knows what I am feeling. I woke up this morning with a really good idea and got shot down by 2 different people. Well ya know what, it's not their decision its mine.

MUG-GAY

Today was my really early morning shift. Training for the manager's position is not that bad. Waking up at 2am to be at work by 3 is.

Tomorrow Sugar Mama and I go to look at a car for me. Mazda3 Hatchback. It's awesome!

Any who, my Mom calls me pretty much everyday even if there is nothing to talk about? Sometimes I just do not understand this woman. LOL

Muggy weather is here. Wish it would go away, I hate the feeling of stickiness when getting out the shower. Speaking of shower...a bath would be nice right now. I think first I will smoke, then I will draw a bath and then mix a drink for myself. Yep. That's what I am going to do.

Girl in a Coma

Well...the jewelry aisle is finally finished! My back is to show for all the hard work I did. I worked 10 to 5 today and I am currently sprawled out on my couch in pain. I could use a nap but if I sleep then I wont sleep tonight. Ugh. Decisions.

So..I bought JULY issue of CURVE MAGAZINE and found an article about this band that opens for Tegan and Sara. They are called "Girl in a Coma". I completely fell in love with them when I visited their homepage.

http://www.myspace.com/girlsinacoma

Random

Not much has been happening here in MA. Sugar Mama and I visited NY earlier in the week. I wasn't there for 24 hours and I was already saying 'can we go home'.

It was nice to see my family and some close friends. I cut my hair once again. I just needed it. My hair was looking blah. I like the way it turned out, short.

My Gram came home from the hospital today and she better stay away from it for awhile!

Oh, I have been having a lot of back pain. Damn jewelry aisle is doing me in. Luckily, I have the weekend off to rest. A.C. Moore at its finest with leaks. Yeah, there was yet another leak today and this time it got a lot of product wet. -$300 plus.

I am really random tonight.

Well, there isn't to much more to say!

Sleep Deprived

I didn't get much sleep last night.

Before my sister got here I got a phone call from my Mom telling me that my Gram was in the hospital. She told me not to call because she was drowsy due to all the medicine the doctors had her on. I do not get it, I talked to her Saturday and she seem totally fine.

I guess she has some sort of infection. I cannot imagine life without her. I am returning home to tomorrow night to see her. I was planning on seeing her at her house but now I will be visiting her in the hospital.

Be strong Gram!!

Remembrance

People come and go out of my life which some have greatly impacted me. Teachers, coaches, co-workers, friends and significant others.

Special K decided to apologize to me last week for what she thought had happened in our past. I couldn't except it. When I look back at what my life was like living with her (not in a relationship), I would rather just wish her luck with her future and never speak to her again. Drama is Special K's middle name. For the most part I have cut out a lot of drama when I moved to MA. This is my final goodbye to Special K.

On another note, I looked at my blog today and found that someone had left a comment on my post yesterday. I still do believe when people die they still are around us everyday in spirits. I know this one person would give anything to have their Grandma back physically in her life. Your Grandma is with you everyday, she is in your heart and in your apartment. Trust me, I have seen her. She scared me at first but I know she is there just to watch over you. Make her proud.

Another question...Do I miss the people who have been erased from my life?
Sure, I do. Every single one of them has something about themselves that reminds me of them everyday.

"Nothing is more fatal to happiness than the rememebrance of happiness."

Disappointed

ok...I'm upset. Let me explain.

My parents have been camping in NJ for the week. My mom was sick for most of their trip. I called her like everyday to check up on her. Yesterday, my parents got into a fight and my Mom was very upset. Being the caring daughter I am I talked with her on the phone for almost an hour trying to calm her down. I invited her to MA for four days just to give her and my Dad a break from one another. I talked to my Dad and he was all for dropping her off on their way back home.

My Mom called me at 10:30 this morning saying that she forgot she has a graduation party to go to. So, needless to say my Mom chose to go to this graduation party rather than spending time with her own daughter who misses her.

I cleaned the apartment and even woke up Sugar Mama who worked all night last night to help me.

Sugar Mama told me not to feel bad because she will come and visit during the summer. There is a very slim chance that will ever happen. My Mom does not go anywhere without my Dad.

Idk...maybe a should distance myself for awhile. Maybe she just might realize that she hurt me. Maybe one day she will look back on this day and say, "wow, I have a daughter that loves me and cares for me and I pushed her away and let her down."

Another thing that is semi bothering me is my family has not called to see how I am doing. It's been a month since I moved. Maybe, I don't exist anymore?

If I didn't have my Gram I don't know what I would do. She has helped me so much. And I thank her for the young woman that I've become.

Love

Yesterday, I picked out my ring. Well, it was just to give Sugar Mama an idea. lol I have it saved in my favorites. It's so beautiful and I'm not posting a picture just because I want to show it when its on my finger which probably won't be happening anytime soon. But, when that day comes I am going to so overwhelmed. Not just because of the ring, because I get to spend the rest of my life with someone who makes me happy, someone who makes me laugh and someone that I truly love.

I found my fish

I am totally exhausted and I have the whole weekend to just lounge around. Between work and the new couch we bought (in pieces) I am just ugh. I should be sleeping right now but instead I got a boost of energy and did some chores. Sugar Mama is at work tonight. Just me and the kitten home in bed tonight.





Laying in bed with her just makes me happy. I feel like turning to her and saying, "I found my fish in the sea. You are the one and someday I will marry you."

My Gram always told me that there was one fish in the sea for me and I would find it someday and that one fish will love me forever.

Decisions?

hmmm...so it was brought to my attention yesterday that my Dad is not too happy with me at the moment.

I told him before I left for MA that there was still stuff in the apartment. My Mom told me she would take care of it. Mhm. She never got around to doing it.

So..the question is should I go home tonight to help with the party or should I go tomorrow and just show up as a guest?

Ugh..I'm so torn. I know I am going to be "talked to" either way.

Anyways, work is bringing me lots of laughs. Yesterday, we had the Niagara Falls in the store. 99 Steak House is directly above us in the mall and there water tank blew? Yeah, 5 panels in the ceiling are gone and 5 big buckets of water later. Not to mention all the mice shit and pee on the bottom of the shelves which I refused to clean. Another thing that is funny, you hardly ever see guys who wear all white with a golfer's hat which is also white in Upstate NY. BIG PIMPING! Haha. The things you see in a well diverse mall.

Oh...ok question. Have you ever had your breath taken away by another human being's stench? Ugh. It so happened to me today. I had to leave the aisle I was working in just to catch my breath. Seriously, its called water and soap!

Wonderful.

I haven't wrote anything in awhile due to the lack of Internet. Good news, Internet is being installed tomorrow morning.

How am I? Wonderful. MA is great. My new job is going alright, meeting new people and what not. Still doing those Plan-O-Grams.

Sugar Mama asked me if I missed home today. I quickly answered with a NO! I like living here. I mean 2 hours isn't that far from home. Plus, I can get all the cuddling I want here.

The Stud's grad party is this weekend. My parents have been doing a lot of work around the house to get ready. Maybe, that's why I like it here so much? No one tells me what to do. Do this...do that. It kind of gets on my nerves sometimes. That's why I plan to go home Saturday instead of Friday night. I am actually going to my parents as a guest for once!

Well all is good. Bye

Last Day

Today was my last day working at A.C. Moore Store #55. Tomorrow I will be leaving for MA. I am excited and nervous all at once. Tonight, I plan on going out to dinner with my friends. Hopefully, I wont get too wasted. I am so tired right now..I need a nap.

Debts

How hard is it to pay debts? I mean how long has it been? 1 year and 5 months? I am sure that is plenty enough time to pay back $140.

I am aware of what you do. You spend money like it is nothing. You have no job. You collect unemployment and you're too afraid to get a job. Grow up and face the facts, money does not grow on trees. You have to earn it and how do you do that? You get a fucking job!

140! That is an easy pay back. How about you be a big girl and step up to the plate so this doesn't have to get dirty.

The Packing Begins

Today the packing begins. I plan on sorting through all of my clothes. That's gonna be a big job by itself. Then, slowly I will be taking stuff to my Mom's that I am not taking to MA. I need to borrow my Dad's truck and trailer to get the big stuff out. That should be fun. HA.

The official moving everything date is going to be the 17th. But my last day at work is the 19th.

Alright. So I feel like taking down shit off the walls. Catcha later!

YOU!

I know who you are. You view my blog everyday it seems like. Sometime in the future I hope to make a visit out west to meet you.

All for now. =)

Proud Sister

Not sure if I mentioned in my previous blogs but my sister played in the Section 2 Class B final last night.

Go here to check it out!>>>http://videos.poststar.com/p/video?id=4426374

Feeling Good

I am finally feeling better! I am wide awake. Should be in bed because I have lots to do tomorrow before I got to work.
I met up with Buttercup tonight. It's been awhile since I have seen her. Caught up on stuff that has been going on in our lives.

I am thinking of cutting my hair again. I am not sure. It's I either chop it all off or just short stack it in the back again. I don't know what to do. I guess I will figured that out tomorrow.

Ok. Time to smoke and pass out!

CAPITAL PRIDE

GO TO THIS AND SEE MY FRIEND, MONIQUE FLYNN'S PHOTOGRAGHY!

MYSELF, SUGAR MAMA, THE STUD AND SPECIAL K WILL ALSO BE FEATURED IN THE SHOW!

I WILL BE ATTENDING!

Secret Exposed

OK. My secret is this. I am officially moving to MA in 2-3 weeks. I was a complete shoe in at store 33. I still cannot believe it. Finally, hit me this morning when I awoke in Sugar Mama's bed. Wow.

I think many people think I am rushing our relationship. The way I look at it is we met in October, started our relationship at the end of December. I told her I loved her about 3 weeks ago and now we want to be with each other 24/7. It's simple really. Girl meets girl. Girl loves girl. Girl loves girl back. Girl asks girl to move in with her. Girl says yes.

Considering my past that's pretty damn good. Ya know, the whole saying I love you the first week of dating and then the next week moving in. Biggest mistake of my life. Not saying it was a bad choice, because it made me who I am today.

Our relationship is real. None of this puppy love bullshit. I mean, real real. I am so happy.

Ohh..and I have so much shit to do before I move. I am not sure of the exact date of when I am moving yet. I will have to see about that tomorrow.

Well..that's all for now. Peace.

Secret

There's something I know
That no one else does
You want me to tell you what it is?
But if I did that then it wouldn't be, a secret

Shhh don't tell, Shhh don't tell
Shhh don't tell, Shhh don't tell

Alright, I am pregnant!

Ha. Like that could happen. NOT!!!

It's still a secret.

7:45PM

No call. =(

June 1, 2009

Wow. It's already June. Where did the year go? At the end of the month my sister will be graduating from high school. I am so proud of her. She is going to excell in life, on and off the field. She made 1st team all stars and she has the highest batting average on the team.

Anyways, I have caught some sort of cold over that past couple of days. I hate having the sniffles.

Work has been crazy. This week is going to be crazy. Cupcake said I'm starting to turn into Sugar Mama. I work crazy hours. For example: Thursday 5am to 10am and 530pm to 9pm. Friday 4am to 10am. I am going to be dead on my feet!

Tomorrow afternoon I am going to MA with Bear. It's his birthday Wednesday. I want to show him how great it is there and of course if he likes where I will be living.

Speaking of MA. The manager of the A.C. Moore there is supposed to call me today. I am really nervous. I hope I get a position there so I can be with Sugar Mama more often. I just cant stand to be away from her!

I noticed that some people are reading this blog. I find it funny. Have fun.

Life update

Right now my life is up in the air. At first I wanted to move back in with my parents to save some money just in case if I did move and could not find a job I would have some money to fall back on. Now, will I stay at A.C. Moore? I would like to stay if they have a job for me in MA. I looked online at the positions available yesterday and there is a merchandising supervisor position available. This means that if I get the job I will act like a manager and give orders to the associates beneath me. I would also need a little bit of training. I would like the adjustment to my pay check. My manager is going to call the store and see what’s happening with the position. So, it’s a matter of if I get the job soon, the sooner I can move to MA. If not then I will be moving by the end of the summer. I also will be finishing my associates degree online.

My mom is not too thrilled that I am moving. I will only be 2 hours away. It’s not like 6, like my sister. The Stud will be leaving in August for college. So, that just leaves one kid at home for mom and dad. I mean she has to face it. Kids grow up and become adults. They start their own lives. I have to do what is best for me and as of right now its being with someone I love and moving to MA.

Loving Life and Loving Her

I spent Tuesday night in MA with Sugar Mama. What I night, we decided to move her “queen/full” size bed into her new apartment. She was going to put it on the top of the car without tying it down. Ha. I wasn’t going to pick it up on the side of the road so I made her tie it down. So, here we are driving across town with a bed strapped down to the top of the car. I wanted to crawl in the back and hide! Then there was the job of getting it into the apartment. Well, it wouldn’t go in the front door so we had to take it around the complex through the back door. There we were carry this bed on our heads around the complex. Ha. Needless to say, we were exhausted. We both worked the early morning shift and I had also drove 2 hours.

The last time Sugar Mama was in NY we wanted to cook smores. Well, we never got around to cooking them. Tuesday night we tried again. And once again it didn’t happen. I think it was a combination of being tired and smoking. We did have a Reese’s. Ha.

The stuff that we talk about when we are stoned is just priceless. I am not really sure how we got on this topic but we were talking about how my parents started dating? Ha. So, I thought about something. I want to write down how Sugar Mama and I met so I can tell my children and so on.

Sugar Mama and I actually had an online meeting before we met. Special K was my roommate at the time. She became friends with Cupcake through work. Cupcake came over to our apartment to hang out and she mentioned a friend that lived in MA and told me that we should meet. She immediately pulled out my laptop and got on facebook to show me what Sugar Mama looked like. If I remember correctly I think she called her as well? Let’s see. The topic that started it all was the movie “Shortbus”. If anyone has seen this movie they know it is a little on the weird side but almost a porno. Ha. We continued to talk on facebook until Sugar Mama told me that she would rather Myspace because of her crazy ex. So, MySpace it was for a little while until she decided to visit NY. We went out on a double date with Cupcake and Special K at the Circus Café in downtown Saratoga. Boy was I nervous; I think I changed my shirt 3 times. After that we all went back to my apartment and hung out. The next day we went apple picking. We had a lot of fun the ended all too quickly. We remained friends. I wouldn’t call it dating because we lived so far away and our ex’s were still involved in our lives. I mean going to her house with bite marks on my neck wasn’t so impressing. We saw each other when we could. We carved pumpkins together. Sugar Mama’s pumpkin? Hmm...she tried. Ha. I didn’t realize how much I liked her until Thanksgiving night. I invited her for dinner with my family and she came and went home that night. After she left I went to Crazy’s house for dessert with her and her parents. I guess my emotions got the best of me because I began to feel sick. I finally saw that I liked someone else. I needed to get out of the situation that I was in with Crazy. I caved in again and still continued to talk to Crazy and spend time with her. Sugar Mama decided to make a trip to California to visit her ex. Later I found out that she ended up sleeping with. =/ I went to FL for Christmas for two weeks. Sugar Mama and I talked nonstop. When returning from FL we decided to give the whole relationship thing a try. But in order for me to do this I had to stop talking to Crazy. It was definitely hard but I did it. It was for my own good and I couldn’t be happier.

The last 5 months I have been so happy. I am so happy that I’m moving to MA in the future. I am not sure if it going to be 2 weeks or a month or by the end of the summer. All I know is that I am in love with Sugar Mama and I want to be with her 24/7. Some people say that we act like an old married couple. What’s wrong if we like to cook dinner with each other or sit on the back deck and smoke together? When I move to MA we will probably do our laundry together. Ha.

Finally

Finally, I have my laptop back!

I have been working crazy hours lately. I'm tired 24/7.

I will write more tomorrow. There is so much to catch up on!

Warm me.

I do not want to leave this bed. It's warm and it smells like Sugar Mama. She is at work until 3pm. I was supposed to leave this morning when she went to work at 7am. Oops. I didn't have anything planned for the day so why not spend some more time with her? I wish we didn't live so far apart. I know for a fact that we would see each other almost everyday if we lived close.

Tuesday night, we were out on the front porch smoking and talking. She has a hammock chair that was hung up by a hook right in front of the steps. Now, before I sat down I asked her if it would hold my weight and she said yes. I sat down and I was in it for about 45 minutes until it broke loose and I fell down the stairs on my back with both feet in the air. All I could do was laugh and say OUCH! I don't think I will be sitting in that hammock anytime soon.

We had fun spending the day together yesterday. We went to a park and had a little picnic and shared stories from our pasts. We saw birds having sex...yeah, not so thrilling. But, every moment I spend with her I fall deeper and deeper in love with her. She is just simply amazing. Unlike myself who she called grouchy last night. Oh, while we were at the park she came up with two nicknames for me. "Sugar pants" and "Sugar lips". I just shook my head.

Lesbian Model

I haven't posted anything in a couple days now. Weekends are usually my busiest time of the entire week. I will play catchup when I get the time.

Nothing really happened Saturday, I worked my usual 8 hour shift. Sunday morning a changed my lock to my apartment just for my own safety and my kitten.

Monday, after work Cupcake came over to work on her photo's while I work on a scrapbook. Which reminds me. Cupcake's photos are going to be in a gallery! Which means I am going to be in a gallery! We also talked about doing some other photos of myself to get into modeling and represent "a lesbian model". Pretty cool right? http://www.myspace.com/romainebrooksgallery

Oh, by the way. I am writing this post in MA. I decided to visit Sugar Mama. Oh and how she loves her nickname! haha She wants to give me a nickname but hasn't come up with one yet. Well got to go.

Sugar Mama

I have been wanting to write about Sugar Mama but every time I actually sit down and try I write about the drama that has been happening. So, goddammit I'm going to write about Sugar Mama right now!

I met her in October. I still had a lot of shit going on with Crazy. I didn't want to start anything until I knew I was over her. Sugar Mama and I remained friends. I knew I had an attraction to her from the beginning. She was super cute and really really shy.

We could not be a better match for each other. So, overall we have known each other for 7 months and have been in a relationship for 4 months.

I am happy for a change. She makes me happy. I know its only been 4 months, but I can easily say that I am falling in love with her. =)

When we thought it couldn't get any better..

Another day filled with drama.

Cupcake must of called me 10 times today. Ha. It was like lesbian hell in upstate NY. I think Sugar Mama is happy where she lives, away from all this shit. But, she gets to hear it from Cupcake and I. Ha.

OK. So to make matters worse my Mom is having a hard time with a woman she graduated with. This woman is fucking insane and living through her daughter who is 18. Grow the fuck up. Leave my mother alone. She is a mature adult unlike this other woman who still wants to be in her teenage years and party it up instead of raising her kids. I don't care what is said about my mother. She is a good woman and I think she did a hell of a good job raising me and my sisters. As it is my Mom is having some health issues. So, this woman is making life a living hell for my Mom. I hope she stands up to this woman soon.

Well, I better get some sleep. Got to work at the crack ass of dawn.

DRAMA CRAZED

Yesterday was a drama filled day.

I thought I was doing really good staying away from Bear and all the drama that came along with him, which he is still wrapped in.

Sugar Mama and I met up with Cupcake at the carnival to take pictures for Albany's Pride. Cupcake is doing a photography display to represent gays in upstate NY. The outcome was very good.

Meanwhile, I got the scoop on Special K. I was shocked and couldn't believe what I was hearing. I am not going to get into any details. The only way I think that I can deal with this is distance myself from Special K just like I did with Bear.

On a better note, Cupcake just called me and wants me to play in a rugby game tonight. I have no clue how to play rugby. I am not a physical person either. I don't know. This might be interesting. It's a great idea for some photos!

Someone today asked me if I am going to completely honest while writing this blog. The answer: YES!

I do not want my blog to be based on lies, like most blogs are these days. I will however give nicknames to the people that are important to me just to keep them confidential.

-Sugar Mama
-Cupcake
-The Stud
-Boo
-Red Head
-Buttercup
-Special K
-Blondie
-Bear


There will be more to come...

Seeking College Life

In grade school I dreamed of one day graduating from High School. Those were the days when I thought once you passed 12th grade you were finally finished with school. I guess I thought wrong.

I was a good student in High School. I was an honor Student Athlete and I graduated with honors.

I am 21 years old. I still do not have my associates degree. I never went away to college, stayed home and went to the local community college. I feel like I have no motivation towards school, but in order to get a good paying job I have to have some sort of degree.

I am going to apply to an online school sometime this week. Hopefully, with a change in my work schedule my school work will get done.

Worse thing is. I do not have a career choice yet.

Maybe I should of made college like this>>>>COLLEGE